Dear editor,

When I left Washington state two years ago I thought Comox was the perfect place to raise my family.

I came here for a weekend to find housing. A friend recommended Penny Lane Property Management. Even though I didn't have a job yet, I simply supplied them with some paperwork as to where I stood financially and I was able to rent a very cute home on Foxxwood Drive.

I have loved this little house. I have always been a home owner but now for the first time I am a renter, but I have to tell you it still feels the same. It's a home, it's mine and I care for it as if my rent cheque was a mortgage payment.

The house has recently been put on the market to sell. I was devastated.

I immediately started scanning the paper and Craigslist for a new place and was relieved to find there were many homes out there to rent; I thought I would be OK.

It's true; there are many homes in Comox to rent, just not to me. You see, somehow this educated, professional mother falls in the category of "single mom" and more recently, new mom, which leaves me on maternity leave till September.

I'm not unemployed; I'm not on welfare; I am taking care of my new baby; alone I might add.

My experience so far viewing perspective homes in Comox has been utterly humiliating. I understand the stigma and persona surrounding a single mom and it exists for a reason.

However, I don't fall into that category. I don't go out to bars — in fact I think the last time I did vests and leather pants were still in style.

I don't do drugs. I don't smoke because I want to be around when my kids gets married. I am more interested and invested in being the best example I can for my children.

So when I have started to tell a homeowner about myself, I have learned the hard way to try and not talk about the fact that I am a single mom. Instead I try and talk about how much I love to garden (which I honestly do), or how I have always owned a home and understand how to care for such an investment.

But sooner or later the questions always come up — are you married? Do you have any children?

Seven home owners have passed me by, two very honest male landlords admitted that it was because I am single, on maternity and I have a daughter who is 12. Even my child gets stereotyped as a teenager.

I wonder, do any of these male landlords ever ask any male perspective tenants if they have recently abandoned the mother of their children? Do men who have walked away from their families ever get turned down?

I think we all know the answer to that. No, they don't. It is us, the women who are taking care of those abandoned children, working, paying the bills and trying to make sure our children leave their childhood with as little emotional scaring as possible.

It is the single moms who are trying again to form a new whole, to mend the broken and make sure what's left of family stays together.

Please, landlords/homeowners, get to know those who want to rent your home and remember, not all single moms are bad news.

Some of us have experienced a lot of heartbreak, but does that mean we would be bad renters?

Karen Haynes,

Comox