Clarence 鈥楰at鈥� Pennier鈥檚 voice didn鈥檛 waver on the phone as he talked about Kamloops and the 215 children鈥檚 graves found on the former site of the Kamloops Indian Residential School. His voice didn鈥檛 crack with emotion and he didn鈥檛 choke up as he talked about his thoughts and feelings.
But make no mistake.
As a former student at Mission鈥檚 St. Mary鈥檚 Indian Residential School, married to a woman (Nancy) who was a student at that Kamloops school for 13 years, Pennier hasn鈥檛 been able to stop thinking about the unfolding tragedy.
The 76-year-old member of the St贸:l艒 Grand Chiefs has a lot to say. He just struggles to say it.
鈥淧art of the reason I don鈥檛 get so emotional is because of the abuses I experienced in school 鈥� physical and mental and spiritual and sexual abuses,鈥� Pennier said.
鈥淥ne of the things we learned in (residential) school was not to show our emotions, which is the wrong thing to do. But they were very strict in there. If you didn鈥檛 get punished yourself, you saw other people being punished. You couldn鈥檛 say anything and that鈥檚 why it becomes a little harder for people to talk about things after they leave.鈥�
Pennier said he went through plenty of therapy to get to the point where he could handle news like this without falling apart. For others who don鈥檛 go through counselling, 鈥渋t hits them like a ton of bricks when they find out things like this.鈥�
Pennier was in Kamloops Monday, at the site of the tragedy, as part of Nancy鈥檚 healing journey.
鈥淪he probably knew some of the ones that are in there,鈥� he said. Several organizations are working with the Tk鈥檈mlups te Secwepmc to identify the remains, including the local museum and B.C. Coroners Service.
Pennier said it was part of the residential school experience for students to disappear, with fellow students left not knowing if the child ran away or how they died.
鈥淧eople suspected things like this happened, but there was never proof of it. I think if they do the same at other residential schools they鈥檒l probably find the same thing. Maybe not as large or to the same extent as this one, but they鈥檒l probably find something.鈥�
It鈥檚 one thing to know and acknowledge that bad things were done to Indigenous children at residential schools, but when you see graves in a poorly-tended field, or see 215 little pairs of shoes on the steps of a building, it makes it a little less abstract, Pennier said.
鈥淵esterday, after the ceremony to take the childrens鈥� spirits back to our territory was ended, we saw a lot of cars waiting to enter the school grounds. Many were already parked and a lot of people were sitting in the arbour which holds a lot of people. So there is good coming from this exposure,鈥� Pennier said.
鈥淲hat鈥檚 happening in Kamloops provides an opportunity for the people to learn about the history of this country regarding the treatment of our people, and how from an early time governments wanted to get rid of 鈥榯he Indian problem.鈥� There is a lot of talk about 鈥榬econciliation,鈥� but people do not understand what needs to be done to make things better between our societies.鈥�
The Indian Residential School Survivors Society is offering toll-free 24-hour telephone support for survivors and their families at 1 (866) 925-4419. Alternately, you can reach out the KUU-US Crisis Line Society 24-hour line at 1-800-588-8717.
eric.welsh@theprogress.com
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