While many of us anticipate the holiday season as a time of joy and togetherness, for some, the celebrations are marked with feelings of grief or sadness.

For someone grieving a loved one, for example, the holidays can amplify feelings of loss. Others may be missing distant family or friends, or adapting to a new life event, or simply feeling overwhelmed with world events.

However you鈥檙e feeling, 鈥渋t鈥檚 important to be kind to yourself,鈥� says Joan Collinge, a longtime volunteer with , who notes that people express their grief differently 鈥� some will want to socialize, for example, while others will prefer to forego holiday festivities altogether.

鈥淧eople manifest their feelings in many ways. Some just push it down, others are very open about their grief and express it in a way people expect them to. Everyone grieves in their own way,鈥� Collinge says.

鈥淛ust be true to yourself and release, as much as you can, the expectations others have for you.鈥�

Recognizing the difficulty the season can present, Comox Valley Hospice Society and Comox United Church host their annual event this Saturday, Dec. 16, from 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. at 250 Beach Dr. in Comox.

Non-religious and open to all who find the holidays a difficult time of year, the program features quiet music, thoughtful readings from people experienced with grief, and an opportunity to remember or celebrate loved ones, if you wish, Collinge says.

鈥淚t鈥檚 a very welcoming environment; just walking into the sanctuary can be very calming.鈥�

Upon entering, you鈥檒l receive a tag to write the name of those you鈥檙e remembering for the Memory Tree, or to take home, if you prefer. There鈥檚 also an opportunity to light a candle and if you wish, to have your loved one鈥檚 name read aloud in remembrance.

Experienced Comox Valley Hospice Society volunteers will be in attendance, should anyone feel they need support, Collinge says, emphasizing that everyone is welcome, no matter where they are in their grieving. 鈥淲e don鈥檛 want people to stay away for fear of tears 鈥� we are all very comfortable with grief.鈥�

Supporting yourself and others at the holidays

If you鈥檝e lost a loved one, you may want to find new ways to honour their memory. Some families like setting a place for them at the holiday table or including their favourite dish. Others find entirely new rituals, like lighting a candle during Celebrate a Life.

If you have a friend or a loved one who is grieving, open the door to them joining your celebrations in whatever way makes sense for them, no strings attached, Collinge suggests. Let them know they are loved and welcome, and if at the last minute they choose to come, or not, that鈥檚 perfectly alright.

And don鈥檛 be afraid to talk about a partner, parent, child or friend who has died, if they choose.

To learn more about Comox Valley Hospice Society鈥檚 grief support programs, visit . You can also find a variety of .

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